LJ IDOL - WEEK 15 - PERIPHERY
Feb. 9th, 2019 07:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
onecheapdateLJ IDOL: WEEK 15
PROMPT: periphery
I had an idea. I'm not sure how well it was executed. TOP 20! Maybe I shouldn't be experimenting at this point in the competition, but oh well! After reading the prompt, I had this idea where the reader is seeing things from a peripheral view. I was also inspired by the coming holiday. Letters were written with "Wanna Be" by Betty Who as background music. I will link that if you'd like to give it a listen as well! As always, all feedback is appreciated!
➠ THE LETTER IN THE BACK OF THE DRAWER
Dear Becca,
Don't ask me why, but my recent promotion at work has caused me to embark on a little bit of self-reflection. I started thinking about my time at the studio, which had me thinking about you and how you've been there every step of the way... and that had me thinking about us.
Bex, we have known each other for an entire lifetime. Can you believe that? When we first met I had that horrible bowl cut and I would never let you be the red Power Ranger because you were a girl. You punched me in the nose and made me cry. But, I deserved that. I really was a bit of a jerk to you in the beginning.
Anyways, looking back on all of our history I can't believe someone as amazing as you has put up with all my bullshit throughout the years. I feel like you deserve an award or some kind of recognition because ... wow. I screwed up a lot. And you stayed by my side through it all.
I guess, first of all, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for every time I said something mean and for every time I made you cry. I am sorry for all the times I was an asshole. I know the number of times I said something insensitive or took a joke too far is plentiful. I’m really sorry I couldn't do more for you when you lost your mom. I know you were hurting so bad and all I could do was offer a shoulder to lean on and a few pints of your favorite ice cream. Because even after losing a parent myself, I didn't know what the hell to say to a person who had lost someone as important as a mother is to a daughter. I felt helpless and I hated that.
But perhaps most importantly, I am sorry for not being honest with you about my feelings all these years.
I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you since high school. Actually, I know I've been in love with you since high school. I’m not proud to admit this, but why do you think all of your boyfriends were so short lived back then? I think I may have scared the shit out of them. I’d like to say I had the best intentions, but honestly, I was just being selfish.
Becca, I know that I am a better me when I am with you. You put up with all my shit, you go out of your way to show you care for me. I know without a doubt that you'll always be in my corner no matter what.
I've made a lot of excuses from high school until now. "The timing isn't right," and "I don't want to ruin the friendship," and "I can't guarantee she feels the same way." I am going to try and stop making excuses now. I am going to try and be more honest about how I am feeling. Because I know if I keep running from how strongly I feel about you, it may eventually result in me losing you. And just that idea scares the shit out of me.
So there we go, I have exactly how I feel about you down on paper. I love you, Bex. And I don't want to lose you. You're never going to read this letter, but hopefully writing my feelings down is one step towards actually saying these words to you out loud sometime soon. Happy V-Day.
- Jeremy
➠ FILED UNDER: DRAFTS
Dear Jeremy,
I love you.
I love you.
It’s so easy, isn’t it? We’ve said it to each other a million times. “Hey, Jer, grab me something to drink. Thanks! Love you!” or “You know I love you, you big idiot” after you’ve apologized to me for doing something stupid. It’s this casual phrase that we’ve come to toss around so lightly. So, how do I reclaim it? How do I say it in a way that means… ‘I can’t see myself with anyone other than you?’... ‘I can’t stand to see you go out on dates with other people?’... ‘You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.’ … ‘I have a Pinterest board dedicated to our hypothetical dream wedding.’ I can’t believe I’m such a cliche! How did I become the silly girl whose had a crush on her childhood best friend since the day they met, spending her entire youth cheering him on from the sidelines as she pines for his affection?
You’re the very best person I know, Jer. I mean that. I know you’ll disagree and cite all these instances where you were a total jerk to me, but I think those moments are normal when you’ve been close to someone for so many years. I haven’t always been perfect, either.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve randomly lashed out at you - when my feelings overwhelmed me and I misplaced my frustrations on you instead of opening up. I’m sorry for being a lightweight and for the many times you’ve had to literally carry me home drunk and hold my hair back while I got sick. I’m sorry for leaning on you so heavily when my mom passed away, sometimes forgetting that it was hard for you to support me while it resurfaced feelings about losing your dad. I’m sorry for that time I blocked you on social media for a whole month, back when you started dating Hannah. I knew she wasn’t right for you and I couldn’t stand constantly seeing you together. There’s a long list of things I could tell you I’m sorry for. But, if I could fill 1000 pages with apologies, I could fill 2000 more with reasons why I love you. Times you’ve made my heart beat faster. Hours I’ve spent thinking about how to tell you the truth.
My mom wasn’t here very long, but she still managed to to teach me so many important lessons, some without even trying. I think one of the things I’ll always remember the most, is the way she looked at my dad and… Jer… you could just see that her sun absolutely shined for him. It was in the way she teased him and the way she laughed so openly. It was in the ways she always knew how to cheer him up or when he just needed a quiet hug. She was so clearly one half of a whole. I always hoped that I would be able to be that for someone one day - one piece of a perfect, two person team. And for years, whenever I picture myself in her place, it’s you that’s there by my side. My soulmate, my sun - the way my dad was for my mom.
Maybe, I don’t just love you. Maybe that’s where I’ve got this all wrong. I should be telling you something else. Something… stronger.
Jeremy… I’m in love with you. And maybe that doesn’t seem like a big difference, but in my heart, I know it is. It’s all the difference, actually. And maybe, someday, I’ll be able to say it out loud, before I'm too late. I hope I'm not too late already. Happy Valentines Day, Jer.
Your very biggest cheerleader and absolute best friend forever,
Becca
➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠
Jeremy hangs back, waiting for Becca to get her gym bag. When she returns to the entrance hall, he flicks off the lights, bathing the studio in darkness. As she approaches, he holds out his hand for her bag with a small grin.
“Let’s go! Let’s go! I’m starving!” he says, bouncing up and down like an impatient child.
She waves him off and slings her bag up over her shoulder, rolling her eyes.
“You’re always starving, Jeremy.”
He shrugs, moving to lock the door behind them as they walk out of the studio. It’s evening and the sun has already set. The busy strip is lit only by street lamps and neon business signs.
“Ramen?”
“You read my mind.”
They walk down the sidewalk, side by side. Low, muffled Italian music plays from the restaurant across the street, it’s door wide open and welcoming to guests passing by.
“So.”
“So?” she echoes, bumping her shoulder against his.
“You got plans for Valentine’s Day? It’s next Thursday, you know.”
Becca fiddles with her hair, tightening her ponytail, then grabs Jeremy’s arm, causing him to stop in place. She smiles, then bends down to tie her shoe lace.
“Nah. I’ll probably stay in and go over some choreography. Maybe order take out if I’m feeling crazy. It’s just a normal Thursday. I don’t know why people make such a big deal about it.” She stands back up and grins over at him. “How about you? I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how to juggle, what? Three dates? Four?”
“No.” He says, shaking his head. He reaches out and flicks the side of her head gently. “I’ll probably just surprise my mom and show up for dinner or something? I’ve got a lot of work to get done.”
Becca rubs the spot where he’s flicked her and nods as they walk, side by side, down the street. The conversation changes topics comfortably as they continue to head towards the ramen joint.
➠ Maybe next year.
PROMPT: periphery
I had an idea. I'm not sure how well it was executed. TOP 20! Maybe I shouldn't be experimenting at this point in the competition, but oh well! After reading the prompt, I had this idea where the reader is seeing things from a peripheral view. I was also inspired by the coming holiday. Letters were written with "Wanna Be" by Betty Who as background music. I will link that if you'd like to give it a listen as well! As always, all feedback is appreciated!
➠ THE LETTER IN THE BACK OF THE DRAWER
Dear Becca,
Don't ask me why, but my recent promotion at work has caused me to embark on a little bit of self-reflection. I started thinking about my time at the studio, which had me thinking about you and how you've been there every step of the way... and that had me thinking about us.
Bex, we have known each other for an entire lifetime. Can you believe that? When we first met I had that horrible bowl cut and I would never let you be the red Power Ranger because you were a girl. You punched me in the nose and made me cry. But, I deserved that. I really was a bit of a jerk to you in the beginning.
Anyways, looking back on all of our history I can't believe someone as amazing as you has put up with all my bullshit throughout the years. I feel like you deserve an award or some kind of recognition because ... wow. I screwed up a lot. And you stayed by my side through it all.
I guess, first of all, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for every time I said something mean and for every time I made you cry. I am sorry for all the times I was an asshole. I know the number of times I said something insensitive or took a joke too far is plentiful. I’m really sorry I couldn't do more for you when you lost your mom. I know you were hurting so bad and all I could do was offer a shoulder to lean on and a few pints of your favorite ice cream. Because even after losing a parent myself, I didn't know what the hell to say to a person who had lost someone as important as a mother is to a daughter. I felt helpless and I hated that.
But perhaps most importantly, I am sorry for not being honest with you about my feelings all these years.
I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you since high school. Actually, I know I've been in love with you since high school. I’m not proud to admit this, but why do you think all of your boyfriends were so short lived back then? I think I may have scared the shit out of them. I’d like to say I had the best intentions, but honestly, I was just being selfish.
Becca, I know that I am a better me when I am with you. You put up with all my shit, you go out of your way to show you care for me. I know without a doubt that you'll always be in my corner no matter what.
I've made a lot of excuses from high school until now. "The timing isn't right," and "I don't want to ruin the friendship," and "I can't guarantee she feels the same way." I am going to try and stop making excuses now. I am going to try and be more honest about how I am feeling. Because I know if I keep running from how strongly I feel about you, it may eventually result in me losing you. And just that idea scares the shit out of me.
So there we go, I have exactly how I feel about you down on paper. I love you, Bex. And I don't want to lose you. You're never going to read this letter, but hopefully writing my feelings down is one step towards actually saying these words to you out loud sometime soon. Happy V-Day.
- Jeremy
➠ FILED UNDER: DRAFTS
Dear Jeremy,
I love you.
I love you.
It’s so easy, isn’t it? We’ve said it to each other a million times. “Hey, Jer, grab me something to drink. Thanks! Love you!” or “You know I love you, you big idiot” after you’ve apologized to me for doing something stupid. It’s this casual phrase that we’ve come to toss around so lightly. So, how do I reclaim it? How do I say it in a way that means… ‘I can’t see myself with anyone other than you?’... ‘I can’t stand to see you go out on dates with other people?’... ‘You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.’ … ‘I have a Pinterest board dedicated to our hypothetical dream wedding.’ I can’t believe I’m such a cliche! How did I become the silly girl whose had a crush on her childhood best friend since the day they met, spending her entire youth cheering him on from the sidelines as she pines for his affection?
You’re the very best person I know, Jer. I mean that. I know you’ll disagree and cite all these instances where you were a total jerk to me, but I think those moments are normal when you’ve been close to someone for so many years. I haven’t always been perfect, either.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve randomly lashed out at you - when my feelings overwhelmed me and I misplaced my frustrations on you instead of opening up. I’m sorry for being a lightweight and for the many times you’ve had to literally carry me home drunk and hold my hair back while I got sick. I’m sorry for leaning on you so heavily when my mom passed away, sometimes forgetting that it was hard for you to support me while it resurfaced feelings about losing your dad. I’m sorry for that time I blocked you on social media for a whole month, back when you started dating Hannah. I knew she wasn’t right for you and I couldn’t stand constantly seeing you together. There’s a long list of things I could tell you I’m sorry for. But, if I could fill 1000 pages with apologies, I could fill 2000 more with reasons why I love you. Times you’ve made my heart beat faster. Hours I’ve spent thinking about how to tell you the truth.
My mom wasn’t here very long, but she still managed to to teach me so many important lessons, some without even trying. I think one of the things I’ll always remember the most, is the way she looked at my dad and… Jer… you could just see that her sun absolutely shined for him. It was in the way she teased him and the way she laughed so openly. It was in the ways she always knew how to cheer him up or when he just needed a quiet hug. She was so clearly one half of a whole. I always hoped that I would be able to be that for someone one day - one piece of a perfect, two person team. And for years, whenever I picture myself in her place, it’s you that’s there by my side. My soulmate, my sun - the way my dad was for my mom.
Maybe, I don’t just love you. Maybe that’s where I’ve got this all wrong. I should be telling you something else. Something… stronger.
Jeremy… I’m in love with you. And maybe that doesn’t seem like a big difference, but in my heart, I know it is. It’s all the difference, actually. And maybe, someday, I’ll be able to say it out loud, before I'm too late. I hope I'm not too late already. Happy Valentines Day, Jer.
Your very biggest cheerleader and absolute best friend forever,
Becca
➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠➠
Jeremy hangs back, waiting for Becca to get her gym bag. When she returns to the entrance hall, he flicks off the lights, bathing the studio in darkness. As she approaches, he holds out his hand for her bag with a small grin.
“Let’s go! Let’s go! I’m starving!” he says, bouncing up and down like an impatient child.
She waves him off and slings her bag up over her shoulder, rolling her eyes.
“You’re always starving, Jeremy.”
He shrugs, moving to lock the door behind them as they walk out of the studio. It’s evening and the sun has already set. The busy strip is lit only by street lamps and neon business signs.
“Ramen?”
“You read my mind.”
They walk down the sidewalk, side by side. Low, muffled Italian music plays from the restaurant across the street, it’s door wide open and welcoming to guests passing by.
“So.”
“So?” she echoes, bumping her shoulder against his.
“You got plans for Valentine’s Day? It’s next Thursday, you know.”
Becca fiddles with her hair, tightening her ponytail, then grabs Jeremy’s arm, causing him to stop in place. She smiles, then bends down to tie her shoe lace.
“Nah. I’ll probably stay in and go over some choreography. Maybe order take out if I’m feeling crazy. It’s just a normal Thursday. I don’t know why people make such a big deal about it.” She stands back up and grins over at him. “How about you? I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how to juggle, what? Three dates? Four?”
“No.” He says, shaking his head. He reaches out and flicks the side of her head gently. “I’ll probably just surprise my mom and show up for dinner or something? I’ve got a lot of work to get done.”
Becca rubs the spot where he’s flicked her and nods as they walk, side by side, down the street. The conversation changes topics comfortably as they continue to head towards the ramen joint.
➠ Maybe next year.
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no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 01:59 am (UTC)Like kehlen said above me, I love the mystery of this and basically everything about it. The characters were vivid, the atmosphere was perfect... always a joy to read you <3
no subject
Date: 2019-02-10 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-11 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-11 05:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-11 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 02:37 pm (UTC)It is often difficult to make that step in a long term freindship. They either need another friend to step in and point the situation out to them both or otherwise they need a few drinks together and have an accidental freindly snog! lol!
no subject
Date: 2019-02-12 08:53 pm (UTC)And we have the impression that this has probably happened many times before.
Aw, you guys. :(